Monday, July 28, 2008


The other day, we were at the bookstore, and I saw the cover of some trashy magazine or other talking about how B.rad Pit.t and Ang.elin.a J.olie had their twins through IVF. I picked it up and read the article, and it just ticked me off!

Of course, all the information came from anonymous "sources close to the couple" and junk like that, so who knows how accurate it is. According to the article, they tried IVF because they didn't have the time to try to conceive any other way. Umm . . . OK. And then it went on about the chances of success being about 42% in any given cycle (umm . . . where's that number coming from? Is that pregnancies? Births? It's awfully high compared to the other stats I've seen), and quoted some IDIOT doctor (who--guess what--does IVF) as saying that across three cycles, a woman in her thirties has better than 100% chance! Someone teach that man about probabilities! You don't just multiply by three! And there's no such thing as GREATER than 100% probability!

All in all, the article gave this sort of breezy portrayal of IVF as a sure thing. Now, for us, the Catholic Church's teaching means that IVF isn't an option. But I know enough to know it isn't a sure thing, and I know it's certainly not a breezy thing for the people who go through it. This article is just feeding the misinformation that's out there

Of course, I also have issues about the RE who scoffed at our "backward" religious beliefs (no, he didn't say that, but it was pretty clear) and didn't want to do any diagnosis beyond determining whether I was ovulating and my tubes were open (that would be a yes and a no, by the way). So, I really wish there was more information out there in the mainstream about treatments for the various causes of infertility. And about fertility in general! Our local diocese is one of the few in the country (I think when we got married it was one of two or three) that requires engaged couples to learn a method of Natural Family Planning before getting married. To me, it only makes sense that if the Church teaches that this is the only form of family planning that can be used in a licit way (did I phrase that properly?), then the Church should make sure people are properly educated about it--especially since it's such a counter-cultural approach, and not something even most Catholics would seek out if they didn't have to. I came away from that class knowing so much more about how my body works than I ever had before. And it made me mad! I was really happy to be learning it, but frustrated to no end that I was learning about my body IN MY LATE 20s!

So, I did say this would be a rant! It just really annoys me that people like that stupid doctor are running around telling people--who then quote them in a major magazine--that IVF carries a certainty of bringing home a baby. Just like the businesses with the 20-packs of OPKs that "expire" in 30 days, he's preying on people's lack of information and desire to be parents. That's not OK.

Saturday, July 26, 2008


We finally finished the darn floor the other day . . . and then scratched it moving the refrigerator back. If you ever put in hardwood flooring, be sure to use sliders or something under the fridge!! We had the back on cardboard and the front wheels on cardboard, and that was NOT sufficient! Fortunately, the touch-up kit seems to work well.

I had my Peak + 7 (7DPO) blood draw on Thursday. And it finally happened. The doctor's assistant--who does a great job drawing my blood--hit scar tissue in my left elbow. I have officially had too many blood draws. She apologized and I said, well, I've had an awful lot of blood draws over the past two years . . .

And then it kind of hit me that I've been going to this doctor for two years! This month makes three years since we started actively trying to conceive. I really thought I would be pregnant again by now. In my convoluted logic, I made myself feel better about having a miscarriage by assuming I would be pregnant again within a few months. I was imagining myself bringing home a baby and knowing that if I hadn't had a miscarriage then I wouldn't have that baby. Is that weird, or what?

I keep reminding myself that I need to trust in God's plan, and not my own. I'm doing pretty well at keeping that attitude, but then I have all of these deadlines in my head and contingencies that I use to plan the future. I'm going to see if I can start to let go of those and just live my life as it comes.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

B6 Dreams

My doctor has me taking 500 mg of vitamin B6 every day. I usually try to space it out, but a couple of times in the past week, I've taken it all right before bedtime. Unfortunately, one of the side effects of vitamin B6 is vivid dreams.

This past Sunday, I sang the psalm for the first time at the cathedral here. I've been singing at my parish for a while, but we still often go to mass at the cathedral, and they needed singers. So, I went and auditioned, and now I'm going to sing the psalm there sometimes in addition to singing at my parish.

Saturday night, I was feeling a little bit nervous, and, unfortunately, I took my B6 right before bed. I dreamt that I was at the cathedral a half-hour early, just like I should be. I walked in, checked the time again, and it was seven minutes after mass was scheduled to start! I panicked, but for some reason, mass hadn't started yet. The musicians were practicing, and they had asked someone else to sing the psalm. I ran up, and they let me sing it, but they were all glaring at me for being late. I looked at my music and realized that I had the music for the refrain, but only the words for the verses. So, I stumbled through, guessing at the music, when I realized another woman was standing there with the music, singing all the verses. After we were finished practicing, I asked her for the music, and she gave it to me, like it had never occurred to her that I might need it!

I went to sit down, but realized that, since I had my dog with me (who doesn't bring their dog to church?), she would bark if I left her at the pew when I went up to sing. So, I had to go out to find somewhere to leave the dog. I came back right in time for the psalm, went up to the microphone, and realized as the music started that I had the refrain, but neither the words nor the music to the verses! I sang the refrain, and then just started making things up. The musicians saw what I was doing and stopped playing, I stopped singing, and the archbishop, the deacons, the servers, the musicians, and the congregation all stared at me in silence. Then I woke up.

On Sunday, my husband said I looked very serious while I sang the psalm. And I've been trying to remember to take my B6 much earlier in the day!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Opinions, please!

Oh my goodness, I really appreciate the comments yesterday! Not only because it's nice to get comments, but also because I completely forgot about IComLeavWe until I saw them at 10:30 last night!

So, we've been totally absorbed in the insane hardwood floor project for the last week and a half. We've both been more or less off work, so we've been working on it all day, every day. We've put in almost 400 sq ft, with 50 more to go--tomorrow, I hope!

To illustrate the level of chaos in my life, I will give you one small example. I was called for jury duty on July 8th. That was the week we were going to be out of town. I concientiously marked the "Vacation" box on the postponement request and put the summons aside to check the alternate dates I would be available.

So, yesterday, that is, July 21st, we were eating lunch, and something jogged my memory. I had this awful sinking feeling that I hadn't sent in the postponement request. I ran into the living room (where everything is piled up while we work on the dining room, the usual dumping ground), and within about 30 seconds (I'm good with piles), I found the summons! Which read at the bottom "failure to respond to a jury summons is punishable by a fine of up to $750, up to six months in prison, or both." AAAAAAAH!

I called the number on the summons, and got voice mail. I sat and stared into space for a while, contemplating life in prison. A lady called back and gave me another number to call. Thank goodness, the jury commissioner answered, and I threw myself on her mercy. She was very chipper about the whole thing, looked up my juror number, and told me I hadn't been required to report on the 8th. She said "well, that really worked out better in the end! If you had sent in the postponement, you might have had to come in here later!"

So, all's well that ends well and all that, but this floor nearly sent me to prison!

In another example of the insanity, we have a new niece or nephew due, oh, tomorrow! Two new nephews have been born since we were married, and I crocheted a gift for each of them. They (and this new little one) all live very far away (far enough that we've seen my four-year-old nephew only twice), so it's not like it will be a crisis if my gift for this one isn't ready immediately, but I haven't even picked a pattern yet! I decided to make a blanket, and these are my three top choices--which one do you think I should make?

Choice A: Lacy blanket
Choice B: Ribbon blanket
Choice C: Round blanket

Friday, July 11, 2008


We've been out of town this week (I may try to post some pictures later!), and I realized yesterday that I needed to buy some OPKs. I went over to the nearest drugstore, and they didn't have the kind I usually use. They did have one of the 20-packs I saw advertised on TV lately. I really don't watch much TV (we watch our Netflix DVDs usually), and I haven't for the last few years. It amazes me how much not seeing commercials makes a difference. So, I may be a little slow on the uptake on this one. A few weeks ago, I was at the pharmacy, and the TV was on with the sound low. I could see that it was a F.irst R.e.sponse commercial for OPKs, and they had a calendar with question marks on all the days, and then advertised a monthly supply. It seemed to be saying that you should test every day (not entirely sure because the sound was down). It just really ticked me off! Anyone who is charting has a reasonable guess at when to begin testing. Of course, any given month may be weird if ovulation is late, and PCOS or other issues can complicate matters, but it just seemed to me to be capitalizing on most women's lack of information about their fertility! It really ticked me off!

So, yesterday, I was in the drug store, and there were very few choices. I picked up one of the 20-packs, seeing that the price was actually pretty good per test--and that 20 would probably last me 2 or 3 months, too. As I was walking toward the register, I read the side of the box, which indicated that all 20 tests are in one pouch, and once opened, the pouch has to be discarded within 30 days. What a total rip-off! I checked another brand, and it was the same. I went back and got the store-brand 7-pack. Does this annoy anyone else? And does opening the pouch really do anything to make the tests "expire" faster?

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Not much new . . .

Not much new here. I'm on the same medications as last cycle. The Clomid apparently did wonders for my estradiol levels, both before and after ovulation. Yay! So I'm on the same dose this time around. I took my first one tonight and I'm crossing my fingers for no side effects.

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