Friday, August 21, 2009

He's Here!

No pictures yet, but we're all at home. Everyone in the house is asleep (or on their way to being asleep) but me--I'm going to wolf down some food so I can take my ibuprofen and then see how much of a nap baby girl will give me. Mr. X and the little guy had a rough trip--they missed their connecting flight last night because a delay + a short layover + the airline closing the gate half an hour before the flight (seriously? It's been at least 10 years since the last time I saw that happen) = an hour and ten minutes to make it through immigration and customs and get to the new gate four terminals over. Unfortunately, their connection was the last flight of the day, so they had to spend a very long night in a hotel and just arrived home this morning. Fortunately, the little guy was good as gold for the whole trip--he didn't start screaming until I held him at the airport!

The poor baby screamed the whole time we were at the airport (so, though a friend came and took pictures, I don't know if we have any that don't feature a screaming child) and then fell asleep in the car on the way home. He screamed for a few minutes once we got home, then fell asleep on Mr. X's lap. He cries if Mr. X puts him down for a second. He's started to smile at me, though, and even waved at me across the room and then smiled and clapped his hands. He also spontaneously started to play peekaboo with me tonight. He's having a rough time right now (who wouldn't if they'd been through what he has?), but it's obvious that he's usually a very happy little boy. I'm so thankful that they've made it home safely!

Now I'm off to see if I can get a little sleep!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

One more hour . . .

. . . until I'm a mother of two real live babies! God willing, Mr. X will receive custody of our son in about an hour, and this time tomorrow we'll be arriving home from the airport as a family of four.

Our little guy is crawling, pulling up, and cruising on the furniture, but not really walking yet. In between feedings I'm trying to clear a few areas so they'll be safe for him to play on the floor--for now, the babies' room and the family room. Any recommendations for feeding a one-year-old and for supplies to have on hand for teething?

Incidentally, the nursing is getting better, and I've changed my attitude about using nipple shields--instead of feeling like a failure, I'm looking at them as a tool that is helping us keep on breastfeeding while we get everything figured out. And I'm down from using them every time to using them about half the time.

Thank you, too, for the nice comments on the last post. I've done exactly what Beth suggested (put the baby in the Moby wrap) for the other two trips I've had to run errands, and it's worked perfectly. She has slept the whole time, just getting fussy at the very end when it's time to eat.

So, while the baby is snoozing (I really doubt she's down for the night, but we'll see), I'm going to run back to my cleaning!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Bad Mom Moment

Mr. X left on Sunday, and he'll be back on Thursday with our little boy. I can't believe it's really happening!

The baby is sleeping, so I should run and jump into bed myself in a minute. My mother-in-law is here to help me while Mr. X is gone, and the other day we needed to go to the grocery store, where I had my first public terrible-mother moment. ]The baby cried the whole way there. I grabbed a cart and put her infant seat in it, and she immediately stopped crying once the cart was rolling across the pavement.

She was happy halfway through the store, and then started wailing (I think it was a combination wet-diaper and hunger situation). I didn't know what to do! We had two carts because I wasn't sure how to put the infant seat in the front part of a cart, so we had a baby cart and a grocery cart. I didn't want to take her out of the seat and hold her with one hand while I pushed the cart with the other, because that just didn't seem safe. After a minute or two that seemed like hours, I stopped in an aisle and took her out of the seat to calm her down while my MIL ran to other aisles to pick up items.

Finally, we just had a couple of last things to pick up (bread and milk), so I reluctantly put the baby back in the seat, where she immediately started crying again. I ran through to grab the bread and milk as fast as I could, but then my MIL remembered one more item, so we went across the store. Fortunately, most people were very friendly, probably because they saw how tiny the baby is and how tired I look (and how stressed I was that the baby was crying)! But as I was waiting in that last aisle, a young woman came over to me and asked me to let her hold the baby and comfort her. She seemed very sweet and genuinely distressed that the baby was crying, but I didn't want to let a stranger in the grocery store hold my new baby! And I felt just terrible because I felt like I'm this awful, heartless mom who just lets her baby cry in the shopping cart to the point that perfect strangers beg her to let them take care of the baby because they'd clearly do a better job.

Right after that, we got into the checkout line and I did take her back out of the seat and held her until we left--actually, she was so calm by then that I did just hold her with one hand and steer the cart back to the car with the other. She cried as soon as I put her in the car seat, but as soon as the car started moving and I put some static on the radio, she fell asleep.

Next time, I think I'll probably abandon the cart and go out to the car to try to calm the baby down. But, hey, at least I've had my first bad-mom moment in public only three weeks in, so I won't have to dread it!

Friday, August 14, 2009


The baby is sleeping in the M.oby wrap! First time I've gotten her comfortable in a carrier (though I put it on too loosely, so she's pretty low near my waist--as a result, I'm not doing anything too crazy). I was able to make and butter my toast while holding the baby!

And our son is now one year old and will be arriving home next Thursday. I'm getting nervous about his transition, so any prayers you can spare would be greatly appreciated!

I'm working on writing the birth story as well as about the whole hemorrhage/surgery thing. In the meantime, here are some random thoughts:

1. Thank God for blogs--without them, I would have been totally unprepared for how difficult nursing is. As it is, I'm only partially surprised. How do you get a baby with a tiny little mouth (and a mind of her own, too) to open wide enough?

2. I have heard reaffirmed by medical personnel in the last few weeks that redheads (a) bleed like crazy and (b) can just expect a lot of soreness while starting to nurse. Aren't we lucky?

3. Stitches after delivery are painful. Stitches after your original stitches from delivery have torn out are even more painful. More about that when I write about the big stuff.

4. Babies are amazing. I could just sit and look at her all day. One nice thing about nursing is that I get to spend a lot of my day doing just that.

5. A lot of people have offered to help. It's the kind of offer that I have often made--the "let me know what you need" thing. I know I'm sincere when I say it, and I'm sure they are, too. I know we're really going to need the help in the next couple of weeks. How do I actually take them up on it? I know friends who have had someone set up a Care Calendar for them--would it be bad if I did this for us myself? I feel kind of tacky doing it myself.

Made by Lena