Milestones

Oh my. And I thought summer would be an easier time for me to keep up with blogging. Hahahahahaha.

So, potty training. Yeah. Wow.

It's actually going pretty well, but I scoff at my idea that it would be an intense week and then things would be under control! Nick's pretty well trained, and now he has "accidents" only (a) when he's way too involved to stop playing (but this is stuff being at the zoo, so pretty darn exciting), (b) when he has timeouts, and (c) when he's tucked in to go to sleep. A little manipulation, anyone? Sarah's doing remarkably well, especially considering that she's not even two yet. But its a lot of laundry. Maybe a little more than with cloth diapers. The payoff should be big, though.

But the big milestones around here are these: Sarah is weaned, and I'm on fe.ma.ra this cycle. Yesterday was the big day. It seems like doctors are somewhat divided in their advice, but most do not recommend nursing while taking femara. I read up and found that for the typical c.anc.er dose, it takes 10 days for the drug to leave your system. The dose I'm taking for ovulation induction is 10 times that amount.

Once Sarah was night-weaned and my cycles came back in February, we decided to start trying without any medication to induce ovulation for a few months. I started back on T3, hCG injections, amoxicillin, and vitamins, and my progesterone finally got back up to normal levels in June.

Sarah's almost two, I just turned 37, and we'd love to have a couple more kids. When I had my first surgery, my tubes were blocked, but Dr. H was able to open them back up. After I conceived and then miscarried, we weren't able to conceive again, so I asked him if I could have another HSG to see if the tubes were blocked again. One was partially blocked and the other was completely blocked. Dr. H opened them again, and Sarah was conceived the next cycle. So we really don't want to waste too much time and risk things getting messed up again.

Even though I didn't have any diagnosed ovulation problems, I have only conceived while taking f.ema.ra. And the track record is darn good--I conceived on the first cycle the first time I took it, and on the second cycle the next time (the first cycle that time was the cycle in which I had the HSG).

But I really didn't want to wean Sarah. I looked around for resources on gentle weaning, and she's done really well. A few weeks ago, I explained to her that we would have to stop nursing because I have to take some medicine that would make the milk bad for her. First, I cut down to just nursing at bedtime and at naptime if she asked. (She was already sometimes skipping nursing for a whole day and just nursing at bedtime on many days.) Then I reduced the time she spent nursing at bedtime and tried to break the association of nursing during other bedtime activities (like stories and prayers). I let her drink a sippy cup of milk after nursing, too.

But last night was the last time. She didn't seem to fazed, but I couldn't help crying. She asked to nurse when I was dressing her this morning (the first time she's asked in the morning for a couple of weeks), but we talked about it, and she was calm. I'm dreading bedtime tonight, though.

I know she's almost two (her birthday's on Sunday). I know this is a long time (in our culture anyway) to nurse. I know that we have a strong relationship and that I'll continue to be close to her. I know that this is our best chance to give her and Nick another sibling. But with the early nursing struggles we had, the thrill of finally having a baby to nurse, and the fear that there won't be another one, I think I might be sadder than she is.