Checking in

Well, it seems like forever since I've posted. Things have been really busy around here. I went back to work on January 4th. The first several times I was in my office, I was really shaky and thought I just might burst into tears if anyone looked at me funny. I really wish that I didn't have to work, but I do. Fortunately, we have schedules flexible enough that we can get by with part-time babysitters. I can work from home a fair amount even when the babysitters are here, so I can nurse Sarah while I type and take a break to put Nicholas down for his nap and things like that. I'm starting to get more comfortable with that, and I'm counting the days till summer when I can be with them all the time.

The kids are doing great. Sarah's six months old as of Sunday. She has one tooth and is working on a second. She seems to be bypassing sitting up in favor of crawling, and is far more mobile than I thought she would by at this age! She's sleeping about 12-13 hours at night (waking up several times to nurse, of course) and really doesn't like to nap during the day. At six months, she's doubled her birth weight, so she's now 16 lbs. 10 oz. and 26.5 inches long. My family is stunned, since that's what I weighed at 11 months. It's so much fun to make her laugh, and she's started patting me on the back when I pick her up.

Nicholas is almost 18 months, and we'll finalize his adoption in a month. He's starting to learn more English words. We're working on parts of the body, and he can reliably identify his belly button and usually his nose, ears, toes, thumb, and knees. What really cracks me up right now is that Mr. X "beeps" his nose, but he says "a-00-gah" when he does it. So, now Nicholas can't actually say "nose," but he points to his nose and says "a-oo-gah" all the time. He also loves to say "dog" and "woof-woof." But right now, everything says "woof-woof" . . . including the babies in his favorite book. Yesterday, I had to go in to the office, and he actually grabbed my legs, looked up at me, and shouted "mama!" I hate to leave when he's unhappy, but it seems like a good thing (attachment-wise) that he doesn't want me to go.

So, anyway, I've been a basket case since my last post about leaving them and going to work. I've been dreading it for a long time, and I've gone through such a jumble of emotions. I'm sad and worried about leaving them, guilty when I sit and enjoy a few minutes alone, embarrassed and overwhelmed with all of the tasks that don't get done, thrilled with the kids and how much I love them . . . it's been a lot to sort through.

Well, that's all for now. Time to hang up some laundry and figure out what else needs to be done before bed!