Hooray for progesterone!

Progesterone is up!  Woohoo! Yesterday's blood draw (10w2d) result: 26.1.  I can go down to one shot twice a week!

So, that's good news.

I also decided to try to find ways to reduce the morning sickness.  I had been trying to just offer it up and take it as a good sign that the pregnancy's going well . . . and then figured, nah. OK, not really, but morning sickness is not the best when I feel more and more nauseated as the day goes on, putting off the time I have to cook dinner without throwing up (because even if I can't eat it, everyone else has to!), so then dinner is late, and the kids are in bed late, and I want to collapse into bed the minute they do . . . so, yeah. I thought, "maybe there's a better way to handle this." And, of course, the brilliant Jen at Conversion Diary found it. I had gone off of the diet I mentioned (which I believe I found on her blog in the first place). It made me feel really good, but I just couldn't keep it up with it in the craziness of the summer. But, sure enough, it works for morning sickness, too!  I feel sooo much better!  I have more energy and practically no nausea. Things are good.

And I've thrown in the towel on a bunch of things. We're still not in the new house. We still haven't put our old house on the market. Just too much going on. We're working our tails off, but between both of us working full time, Mr. X commuting an hour to an hour and a half each way, etc., etc., and the million little projects we have to finish on this house, the million big projects we have to finish on the new house, not to mention packing up all of our junk . . . it just isn't done yet. So, we went to one of those meal-prep places and ordered twelve dinners. And we just had a cleaning service come to the old house, and they're coming to the new house tomorrow. Not that we're going to do this all the time, but there is no way we can keep up with work and all the regular tasks and fix up both houses. Something's got to give.

But I haven't outsourced laundry yet, so I'm off to put in some more!

We have a heartbeat!

Hooray! After my disappointing progesterone results, I managed to move up my appointment to Friday afternoon. My doctor's office doesn't have an ultrasound, and I knew that 9 weeks was about the earliest we'd be able to hear the heartbeat with the Doppler. Friday was 8w6d, and after a few minutes, he found it!  About 170-180 beats per minute. What a fabulous sound!

At the last minute, Mr. X was able to make it to the appointment, too. Not only did he get to hear the heartbeat, but he also was able to wrangle the kids in the waiting room for the delightful p.e.lvic exam time (I was really nervous about handling that without him!). So, everything's looking good, thanks be to God!

Progesterone Woes

I'm trying not to freak out about this, but my progesterone levels aren't going up yet.  This is what I've got so far:

4w2d: 17.1
6w2d: 18.2
8w2d: 19.0

I'm feeling good, have plenty of pregnancy symptoms--working on keeping the morning sickness (just nausea, no vomiting, but worse nausea than when I was pregnant with Sarah) at bay. My hCG levels have been good, and comparable to that pregnancy as well.  I haven't had an ultrasound, but I have an appointment next Monday (9w2d) where the doctor will try to hear the heartbeat with the doppler (we were able to hear Sarah's heartbeat with the doppler at 8w3d).

Boo!  Any advice?

Hmmm

Thanks for the kind comments! I had my second blood draw yesterday.  I was hoping for a good doubling time for the hCG. When I had the miscarriage, I had a doubling time of 67 hours, and with Sarah, I had a doubling time of 48 hours.  I was just hoping for something close to 48 hours this time.

So, I called the doctor's office this morning because my online account wasn't working, and, you know, since I just happened to have him on the phone, asked the guy who answered the phone if they had my test results yet.  He said the doctor hadn't looked at them yet, but he could give me the number: 1732. 1732 at P+19! That's a 25-hour doubling rate!

Then I freaked myself out googling the results to see what that could mean.  Apparently, it could mean anything or nothing. But, just for the heck of it, I'll probably go google some more . . .

Take that, Secondary Infertility!

It looks like, God willing, we'll have another baby around here next May!

I was feeling really discouraged, and I made an appointment with my doctor last week to talk over the protocol we're using, start another hormone series, look into another ultrasound series and laproscopy, and the whole ball of wax. It so happened that I was at P+13 the day I went in. It had been 18 months since we started trying again (first cycle after Sarah was born--thank you night weaning), 13 months since I weaned Sarah completely and started taking l.e.trozole again, and 9 months since I had the HSG to open my tubes again. So, he sent in the orders for the blood draws, to start on Monday.

And instead, I went in on Monday for a blood draw for hCG and progesterone and my first progesterone shots!

So, this baby's due date is May 18th. Sarah, however, waited until 13 days after her due date, so I'm not counting on anything happening then.

The technical details: My P+17 hCG was 453 and progesterone was 17.1 (boo!). With Sarah, my draw was on P+16, and hCG was 582 and progesterone was 13.8. My hCG draw at P+18 for our first baby was 624. So, it's in the ballpark, but I wish it were at least as high as last time, because I'm goofy like that. For now, it looks like I don't need the prometrium in addition to the 200mg progesterone shots. The assistant at the office did say I was in Zone 1, but it looks like Zone 1 on the chart is way below 10. Hmm.

I go back for another hCG draw tomorrow, and then we'll check hCG once a week and progesterone every two weeks. And my next appointment won't be until 9 weeks, when we should be able to hear the heartbeat on the Doppler. No 6-week ultrasound!

I was listening to the kids play in the the back yard yesterday. They're going to be so excited. This baby will have four people cheering for every milestone.

I'm not sure when I want to tell people. I'm not taking anything for granted, and I do want to celebrate whatever time we have with this little one. I'm praying for this baby to stick around, but above all for the grace to accept God's will.

Some news (no, not that news)

So . . . we bought a house!  I guess that's one way to go through all of our stuff--pack it up and move it across town.

Mr. X and I have been talking for almost a year about moving. We've driven around neighborhoods, pored over online listings, hemmed and hawed, and finally, last Monday, we sat down together and decided where we'd like to move--oh, you know, maybe sometime before the end of the year. We'd get the house ready to sell, take our time, be ready to jump at a great deal. Just for the heck of it, I got online and put in our new search parameters. There was a foreclosure in a really nice neighborhood, priced way below the nearby houses, and it had just come on the market.

We jumped in the car and drove by. Nice. It has the location we want, it's the smallest, worst house in a great area--it's the smart choice. So, we called up our realtor and scheduled a showing for the next day. It's government-owned, and the bid deadline was midnight on the 4th (weird). We spent ages pricing the work that's needed, prayed about it, and set our price. We got our bid in that evening, and ours was the 15th bid.

And we won! So, now we're waiting for the inspection to see if it's really going to be worth it.

So, instead of sorting everything we own, I'm about to start boxing it all up to send to storage. The new house has an unfinished basement, so once we close (presuming all goes well and we do close), we'll just move the essentials into the house, put the boxes in the basement, and I'll sort through them one at a time as I decide what deserves to make it into the living space.

It's interesting, too--last summer, after talking about it ad nauseam, we finally decided which car we wanted to buy. It was midnight on a Friday. We got on Craigsl.is.t and there it was, posted half an hour before at an amazing price. It was ours by noon. Feels like Someone's looking out for us.

In other news, I'm getting ready to start another round of Le.tr.ozole (took 2 months off to give my body a break). I'm also reading about spiritual warfare and cur.ses related to infertility. Scary stuff.

The kids are fantastic. They're starting preschool at the Catholic school near my office next month. We are so excited about it! Sarah named her teddy bears yesterday. She's had a long history of very literal, descriptive naming (for example, Pink Bear and Big Baby). Yesterday, she announced that her favorite bear is a baby girl named Norway, and two larger bears are boys named Rocketship and Kiki. Interesting. Nick and I are working on reading this summer, and he's doing so well! He's still fascinated with horses and loves playing priest. We got a video of him after our parish had a Corpus Christi procession this year. Without any prompting or discussion from us, he pulled his hands inside his "vestments" (he insists on wearing one of Mr. X's black t-shirts with a white t-shirt on top) so that he wouldn't put his hands on the monstrance (a role he assigned to a straw hat). In a few weeks they'll turn 4 and 3. Unbelievable!

So close I can taste it . . .

. . . and it doesn't taste like chicken!

It's almost summer.  Just few more days, and I'm free!

Well, except for teaching summer school (just one online class that I've already prepped). And writing grant applications. And finishing a journal issue and some manuscripts. That's what I call "having the summer off." With all that free time (and with a little help), I'm planning to completely overhaul the house. I know that was my plan LAST summer, but this time I've enlisted reinforcements, made a schedule, and there's no stopping me.

And it's really almost here! The kids are out of preschool. It was downright hot at 10:30 mass this Sunday. And I can't wait.

We've been in survival mode around here. Mr. X's crazy commute, my nutty schedule (why, oh why, did I think it was a good idea to do a major redesign of every class I taught this year? And why did the assistant to my new administrative gig have to quit--never to be replaced--right before Christmas?), and assorted dramas conspired against us. We've made it through, but to illustrate for you where we are right now, our dinner menu for the last six weeks has consisted of: roast chicken, rice, and frozen vegetables (75% of the time, peas). Every night. OK, we do manage to vary it maybe two nights per week (ooh, HAMBURGERS with rice and peas!). We roast two chickens early in the week, freeze most of the meat, and then eat it (MAYBE with a quick sauce I make using the elaborate method of stirring a ton of cumin into plain yogurt--with a little garlic powder and garam masala for show--if I can manage that arduous 30-second task) every single night. Today, Nick was exhausted due to a lack of nap and begged to go to bed in the middle of dinner. I suspect he really just couldn't face another dinner of chicken, rice, and peas. Tonight I vowed to Mr. X that we will not be eating plain roast chicken for at least the next three months.

Tomorrow, I'm stopping at the store to buy taco makings so that, at the very least, we can have roast chicken tacos. I'm going to clear out our nightstands (can't let the reinforcements see EVERYTHING) so that I feel like I'm making a start. Just a few more days. I can do this!

Odds and ends

• Well, we made it through Thanksgiving just fine!  I found the source of poor Sarah's food poisoning--a sippy cup of milk she had stashed by her dollhouse the day before.  (That would be the day I had surgery, hence the poor tracking of milk cups.) Poor little thing! We are now making sure that milk cups go straight to the sink after a meal or snack. 

• I've been feeling OK--just a bit tired and light-headed since the surgery.  I think it probably has to do with, oh, I don't know, not getting enough sleep? Or having a crazy passport odyssey followed by a late night of bathroom disinfection the day after surgery?

• In the insanity of the last term at school (which just ended before Thanksgiving), I vaguely remember opening a jury summons. I know the date was sometime over break because Mr. X and I discussed whether I should try to get a postponement, and I said that it was easier to just take care of it since it was during my break.  Hmm.  I remembered on Wednesday, but no one was answering the phone at the jury commissioner's office, and they were closed on Friday, too. I'm sure it wasn't for Thanksgiving week (and no jurors were called on Tuesday or Wednesday, anyway), but it's fairly likely that it's this coming week.  I have gone through--I kid you not--every piece of paper in the main area of our house.  This is no small feat.  No jury summons.  And without a jury summons, I don't know my juror number, which means I don't know whether or not I'm called for jury duty tomorrow. Which means I will need to get a babysitter and set out for the courthouse at 7:30, simultaneously calling the commissioner's office to see if they can tell me my juror number and date of service. If I can't get through before 8:00 (jury reporting time), then I'll just have to go in with the other 300 (!) jurors called for Monday and try to get it figured out. And then, if it turns out I'm not called for Monday, I may have to do it again, possibly later the same week.

• On a related note, I have purged all nonessential paper from the main living area, and we now have a new system for handling paper that comes into the house. By which I mean, we now have a system.

• After seeing Jennifer mention it on Conversion Diary, I bought a copy of The Perfect Health Diet. I am mostly on the bandwagon--so, in contrast to my previous diet, no more grains (except for a small amount of rice), no more vegetable oils (except for a little olive oil and lots of coconut oil), very minimal sugar (except what's in a little fruit, dark chocolate, and occasional ice cream), and lots more fat, red meat, and fish. I don't even really crave the carbs--since I can still have a little potato and rice (and rice pasta, bread, and crackers, which have provided lots of interesting baking experiments), dark chocolate, and berries, and lots of butter and cream, my sweet tooth isn't driving me crazy. Next, we're going to try to find a source for free-range (grass-fed) meat and eggs.

• One of the reasons I've been staying up too late is that we've gotten hooked on All Creatures Great and Small on Ne.t.flix. Why have I never watched this show before? Oh, yes, back when my brother was hooked on the books and the show when we were kids, I thought it was a show about animals. Well, it's not. But it is charming and delightful, so if you've never seen it and are looking for something good to watch, check it out!

 

Close enough, I hope

Right now, I'm lying on the floor next to Sarah's bed, hoping she's finished throwing up. We're pretty sure (after reading Dr. Se.a.rs) that it's food poisoning. After almost three hours of vomiting, the poor little thing was exhausted and asking to put on her 'jamas and go to bed. Finally, at 9:15, I put her in her pjs, and she flung herself into bed, only to get up 15 minutes later to throw up again. I cleaned her up, brushed her teeth, tucked her back in, and she was asleep literally two minutes later.

But, really, thank God for small favors--I am so glad this started at 5:45 pm and not 2:00am. And so glad that it started at 5:45pm and not 4:45pm, when we were still in the County Clerk's Office.

You see, we FINALLY made it in to apply for the kids' passports today. For those of you keeping score, we went to the Social Security office back in April to apply for a Social Security card for Nick so that I could file our stinkin' taxes. No luck. We need proof of citizenship, which means either a passport or a certificate of citizenship. Since the certificate costs several hundred dollars and doesn't do you much good, we thought we'd go for the passport, since at least that would allow him to travel.

So. Turns out you need lots of paperwork for an internationally-adopted child's passport. And it turns out that both parents have to show up in person with the child to apply for a passport for a child under 16. At this point, we figured we might as well get Sarah's passport, too, for all that hassle. I've had the paperwork together for ages, but I needed to take decent passport photos (the verdict's still out on the decent-ness of the result), and we needed to find a time during business hours that all four of us could show up.

The County Clerk's office closed at 4:30pm today. At 3:15, Mr. X called me to say he was getting ready to leave the office--mind you, he has an hour commute to the County Clerk's office, and it's the day before Thanksgiving. Of course, I was just parking the car at Costco to pick up the photos, so I was no better off. I ran home, relieved the babysitter, convinced Nick to go potty and put his shoes on, picked Sarah up out of bed where she was still napping, and ran them out to the car in their socks. I coaxed them to put on their shoes on the way, called Mr. X to check his ETA, and dashed into the County building at 4:23.

I ran into the passport office, where the poor woman behind the counter eyed me dubiously. She reminded me that they close at 4:30 and asked if my husband was with me, if I had my paperwork filled out, and if I had checks written. Oops. I had my paperwork (I even had it organized in a neat little multiple-pocket folder). But I remembered I wrote the last check in my checkbook the other day. I called Mr. X, who found a single check folded in his wallet. That would get us one passport application, if we could produce $25 cash for the processing fee.

By some minor miracle, Mr. X ran into the office on the dot of 4:30. We conferred, and he thought he might have a checkbook in his car. We had $38 cash between us, but there was an ATM outside the door to the county building. I started going over the paperwork with the woman behind the counter and he sprinted out to the car. I knew he could get in the building, since some of the offices are open till 5:00, but I'd have to let him back in the passport office.

Then the ladies noticed that Nick has no social security number, and said that the State Department might not issue a passport without a Social Security number! You have got to be kidding me.  So I had to write a note saying that I had been turned down for a Social Security number, and they said we'd have to just see what the State Department says. Argh!

Mr. X came back from his trip to the car and ATM, so now we had enough cash for both application fees. And he had found a check. A check I had written to a teenage babysitter. I wrote one of the numbers funny, and she thought the bank might give her a hassle, so I had just written her a new check. Somehow Mr. X found the old one. Technically, as long as I initial any changes, it should work. So I changed--and initialled!--the payee. . . and the date . . . and the amount. My signature didn't need to be changed.

So we submitted Nick's application with a picture that we hope will meet the requirements, a handwritten note about my inability to get a Social Security number for him without a passport, and a perfectly acceptable check. And possibly without a height--I feel like I forgot to write down his height, even though the lady checked over the application and didn't comment on that.

We submitted Sarah's application with a picture that we hope will meet the requirements and perhaps the most bizarre check that the State Department has ever received. (The lady said, "they're definitely going to contact you about this!")

The kids behaved beautifully, mainly because they had a Little T.y.kes table and chairs with an assortment of books, and Mr. X sat with them when he wasn't being asked to promise under oath that this application was correct. Nick provided musical entertainment. So you can see why I'm truly grateful that the vomiting did not begin until we were out of that poor woman's hair! And, seriously, God bless her for bearing with us patiently as her office was closing for Thanksgiving!

It's now been an hour since Sarah fell asleep (though she just stirred a minute ago and said "I done! I done!" . . . which is what she's been saying in the middle of throwing up). I think I'm going to throw in the next load of laundry, disinfect the bathroom, and go to sleep.  But not before I say many prayers that this is just food poisoning and not something contagious!

Surgery Report

I had the hysteroscopy and HSG yesterday with the new doctor.  Things looked pretty good.  The great news is I have no scarring from the D&C!  My tubes weren't blocked.  The pressure was good at first, but the dye wasn't pouring through the tubes freely.  After the doctor ran the wire down the tubes, the dye ran through. That sounds to me like there may have been some crud in there, but not enough to block the liquid completely.

So, we'll see. Mr. X talked to the doctor, and I know I did too in the recovery room, but I don't remember a thing!  I won't get to talk to the doctor till Monday, so I'll probably ask more questions then.

Sugery #5

Here's the big news! Surgery #5 is scheduled for Tuesday.  To recap my surgical history:

May 2007: Surgery #1 with Dr. H. Diagnostic laparascopy that identified extensive endometriosis and one (!) polycystic ovary (other ovary appears normal). HSG revealed blocked tubes, both of which were opened. Endometrial biopsy identified low-grade uterine infection.

July 2007: Surgery #2 with Dr. H. Laparatomy. Success! Removed endometriosis, wedge resection on polycystic ovary.

January 2008: Positive pregnancy test #1! (Also first f.e.mara cycle.) Miscarriage on January 21st at 6w2d.

September 2008: Surgery #3 with Dr. H. At my request, a selective HSG to determine whether tubes were blocked. One fully blocked, one partially blocked. Success!  Both tubes opened.

November 2008: Positive pregnancy test #2!

July 2009: Sarah born! Surgery #4, 5 days postpartum. D&C to stop hemorrhaging due to freak retained placenta that did not present for the first 4 days.

And now:
November 2011: Surgery #5: Hysteroscopy with selective HSG. First surgery with local NaPro surgeon. Checking out whether tubes are blocked and whether there is any damage from life-saving (literally life-saving) post-partum D&C.

Hoping and praying that this does the trick!

The new plan

Hallelujah, we had a breakthrough!  I had the kids in bed and asleep at 7pm last night!  I don't remember the last night they were asleep before 8!  (Heck, I'm not sure when they last fell asleep before 9!)

After giving it some thought and getting some advice, I had decided to try doing away with naps entirely . . . at least in the short-term. However, missing the nap usually ends with Sarah having night terrors (which she did last night, poor little thing!). Nicholas seems to be past night terrors for now, but he also had them at her age when he was over-tired. Well, we're all overtired at this point, for heaven's sake

So, yesterday, I called the Catholic preschool we're thinking about for next year.  I asked a bunch of questions, one of which is whether the kids nap at school since the day is so long (8:00-2:45).  I found out that they eat lunch at 11:15, go down for naps at 11:45, and are up again at 1:15.  I started thinking about that schedule--and the fact that many people suggested shorter and/or earlier naps--and decided we'll try lunch at 11:00, nap at 12:00, up by 1:30. Yesterday, we skipped naps (except for a 15-minute snooze Nick had in the car) because I had a doctor's appointment after preschool. The kids were very cranky, but fell asleep within 10 minutes of getting in bed last night.

We'll just have to wing it on preschool days, since we don't get home until 2:00 after school. The preschool schedule is the whole reason for our current, late nap schedule. Because we get home so late on school days (two days per week), we've gone to a late nap schedule every day so as to remain consistent. Since the kids started back to preschool this fall, we have to wake them from their naps at 4:00 almost every day so that they won't sleep too late. Ha ha. I can see that they've been sleeping too late for a long time--it's amazing that they went to sleep at night so well for so long with such a late nap schedule. I blame the sleep deprivation for my inability to see the obvious problem for so long!

If we move to an earlier nap schedule, I'm hopeful that the kids might fall asleep in the car on the way home from school for those two days a week. Then they might get enough of a cat nap to make it till an early bedtime. It just confirms, though, that we need to move to a different preschool. I love the school and the teachers (and so do the kids!), but the schedule just doesn't work for us. If we can make the transition to an early nap schedule and make school days work, we'll stick it out for the rest of the year. Next fall, Sarah will be three, and that will open up a lot of possibilities for us.

The Catholic preschool (which only takes 3- and 4-year-olds) is part of a small-ish parish school. The parish is trying to revive the school, which is in an aging neighborhood. The upside of this is that there are less than 20 students per grade right now and the school is attempting to revitalize by--surprise, surprise--becoming even more orthodox. Hooray! We know a family whose kids started there this fall, so we can get some feedback from them. The cost is also significantly less per hour than our current preschool, the hours will work better for my work schedule, and it's only five minutes from my office. That means I have an easier commute, I can stop by for lunch/mass/school programs, and I'm much closer in case of emergency. The downside is that class size is large (16 3-4-year-olds to two teachers right now, with the class capped at 20) and Sarah and Nick would be in the same class.

Well, enough of my stream of consciousness. Let's see if I can knock three projects off my list in the next 75 minutes, shall we?

The little things

Thanks, everyone, for the support on the sleep issues!  Things are getting better.  We've started eating dinner a bit earlier and then going for a walk after dinner to burn some of that energy. One of us has been sitting in the room with them until they fall asleep for the past five nights, and we've removed all toys and books from their bedroom to cut down on distractions. I'm going back to the sleep training book we used and loved nine months ago (The Sleep Lady's Good Night Sleep Tight), because I know she talks about regressions and siblings sharing a room (silly me, I checked the book out from the library, so I'm just going to buy it now). We've noticed that Sarah is testing me WAY more than she's testing her dad, too.  Hmmm.

Anyway, I have lots more work to do tonight, so here are two things the kids did today that really got me.

We've been talking about death a lot because a member of our extended family died recently, and we brought the kids to the wake. (Good conversations--the other day, Nicholas was talking about it and said "That person died. That's like . . . somebody goes to God.") Because of his love of processions, friends of ours attached a crucifix to a broomstick for Nicholas to play with. He was playing with his cross tonight, and I told him to put it away before we went for our walk. He said, "Wait! I want to kiss Jesus!" then kissed him and said "I sorry you dyin'."

Then, later tonight, I finally got Sarah tucked in for the last time, and we talked about her babydolls. She told me that she is their mommy and that she likes to take them to the park, with the big sister doll walking and holding her hand, and the little sister doll riding in the stroller. Then, she said "We sit on the bench. Then I go to work--No, I say 'I not go to work, I stay with you,' and they laugh and laugh." Oh, the guilt!

And on that note, I need to get back to work so I can get some sleep tonight!

I am so not kidding

Seriously, I am not kidding about the sleep thing. Last night, I decided to bribe reward the kids for behaving well with an offer of chocolate milk in the morning. Yeah. Sarah lost hers before they were even tucked in for the night.

I also decided to spend a few minutes after lights-out singing to the kids and rubbing their backs to help them wind down. They seemed to be doing pretty well. Mr. X got home during the singing, so I prolonged it a little bit for them to settle after he came in to say goodnight.

They were quiet for a while, and then we started to hear some signs of revelry in the room. When we went in, they were both running around the room s.ta.rk n.ake.d. I kid you not. And Sarah had sat down and peed on her pillow. Lovely. And that was round one!!

As the night wore on, I went in several more times. The highlight was probably the suspicious thumping noises that led me to the room to discover that they were climbing from Nick's bed onto his dresser and jumping down. The night involved time-outs (some of which happened in the playpen in our room where Nick takes his naps), loss of privileges (i.e., stuffed animals and books in bed), and eventually, sleep at about 10:45. After that, I stayed up too late to watch about an hour of TV because I just wanted to sit down and relax before crashing. Argh!

Toddler Sleep

Oh. My. Goodness.

So, Nick and Sarah went from a pretty good sleeping situation to craziness. I think it started with Sarah's two-year molars (still working on the last two of those). But the pattern has become that they party in their shared bedroom for at least three hours after we tuck them in. We have to make multiple visits to the room, each of them wets their pants at least once (intentionally), and so on. It's not unusual for them to be up until 11:30.

This has all happened in the last month. We've had a lot of changes with the school year starting, and we had gotten pretty lax about waking them up at the same time every day. Naps also got moved later, since we don't get home and settled after preschool till 2:00.

So, we are now waking them at 7 every day, and we (or the babysitter on duty) wake them from their naps by 4 if they're not already awake. They showed a little improvement, and it's been just about a week.

I went to a friend's wedding back home and was gone for two nights. Mr. X opened their bedroom door and monitored them last night, and tonight I'm on duty. It's been almost two hours. This is craziness!

I really wish we could move them into separate rooms, but I don't see that happening in the near future. The other two bedrooms are downstairs, have ceramic tile floors, and are in use as our home office and guest room. I would not be opposed to converting the guest room into a kid's room, but the distance from our room, the tile floor, and the fact that the door between the guest room and the office doesn't close make it unappealing.

Any ideas?? Really--anything??

Random goofiness

I have two minutes before my P+7 blood draw, so here are a couple of goofy things the kids have been doing lately:

On a bedtime-delaying bathroom trip, Nicholas started getting rambunctious. I told him it was quite time--no talking. So he started clicking his tongue. I said, "no clicking your tongue, either." So he started smacking his lips. I had to bite my own lip to keep from laughing, but told him no smacking his lips either. So he started clicking his tongue again.

Sarah has started telling elaborate stories about her favorite babydolls. The thing that especially cracks me up is that one doll is the big sister and the other is the little sister (the big one walks, and the little one crawls). In her stories, the big sister doll is always terrorizing the little sister doll, who then "cwies and cwies. She cwies a lot." I'm kind of stumped, because Nick is usually very kind to her, but I guess that's sibling rivalry for you!

I know I've got better stories than that, but those will have to wait till I'm not running to an appointment!

Well, hello again . . .

It's been an eventful couple of months! And even though I'm late (surprise, surprise!) for quick takes, here--briefly--is what's new around here.

• Secondary Infertility. Yep. Officially on cycle 8 using Creighton model for achieving pregnancy, so, given my age, here we are. Really hoped we'd be done with this! I had really hoped that, after having Sarah, I'd have normal fertility. Then again, this is really different than primary infertility for me, in that we are already parents. We would love to have more kids, but we are already blessed beyond measure with the two we have.
  

• Here's the low-down: still have luteal phase defect, slight hypothyroidism, and hormone dysfunction. Since my cycles returned, I've been back on vitamins, amoxicillin, guaifenesin, slow-release T3, and hCG post-peak. I'm now on my third cycle with femara. In the past, I conceived on my first femara cycle (and then miscarried), then on my first full cycle with femara after Dr. H unblocked my tubes (and then had Sarah). So being on a third cycle with femara now does not bode well. In the past, I've had really intense ovulation pain on femara, and that happened on my first cycle this time . . . and then not again. I've just had a few little twinges. Combine that with the fact that my crummy post-peak estradiol levels don't seem to be responding to the hCG, and it makes me wonder if I've got something new going on here. What that new thing might be, I don't know--any ideas?
  

• . . . and that brings me to my third point. New treatment! My local Napro doctor has prescribed an estradiol patch for P+3 - P+12. Has anyone tried this? Any advice?

• We have a new Napro OB/GYN in town. Hooray! My current plan is to make an appointment and talk to her about the possibility of another selective HSG. Since I've had two selective HSGs, and my tubes were blocked both times, it seems somewhat likely that they might be blocked again.
  

• Wonderdog is no longer with us. Her health continued to decline steadily, and at the beginning of August, we made the difficult decision to euthanize. It was pretty awful, but the vet was very kind, and we know her suffering is over.

• Thanks so much for the nice comments on my last post . . . um . . . two months ago. The weaning went really well. It seemed to be much less traumatic for Sarah than for me. She only asked to nurse a couple of times, and accepted my explanation. Just a couple of weeks ago, she was drinking milk out of a cup and told the babysitter, "I drink milk in a cup. I not drink Mommy's milk anymore."

• We are GETTING RID OF STUFF! Oh my. I just can't stand living in a sea of stuff anymore. I realized that my sense of being overwhelmed and frustrated with my work is partially due to the fact that my desk at home and my desk at the office are covered and surrounded by piles of books and papers. I can't find anything. I can't sit down when I have 15 minutes and get a little work done because there's nowhere to do it. When I realize that I have to get up and search for the required objects to complete my next task, the temptation to get online is too great.
  

• So, the new plan is: clear my desks. Put things I don't need immediately into boxes to be handled in a daily sorting time. I can't just leave things where they are and wait the weeks (months?) it would take to clear it out a little bit at a time.

• My new rule is: If we don't NEED it right now, it goes away. No more holding on to things because I might need them. I would rather end up getting rid of something I eventually need than store 20 items I might need . . . and then endure the frustration of needing an item and not being able to find it amid all the stuff. If we know we'll need it in the future (e.g., essential baby items that we will need, please God, for another child), then we will keep it in deep storage.

• We changed parishes officially. Interestingly enough, we found out a couple of weeks ago that we actually live within the boundaries of our new parish--and have for the last seven years! We're very happy with the new parish. It has the kind of community we've been looking for for a long time.

That's it for now. The kids (who are doing beautifully) are napping, and I have about an hour to tackle my to-do list. I'll be back soon . . .

Milestones

Oh my. And I thought summer would be an easier time for me to keep up with blogging. Hahahahahaha.

So, potty training. Yeah. Wow.

It's actually going pretty well, but I scoff at my idea that it would be an intense week and then things would be under control! Nick's pretty well trained, and now he has "accidents" only (a) when he's way too involved to stop playing (but this is stuff being at the zoo, so pretty darn exciting), (b) when he has timeouts, and (c) when he's tucked in to go to sleep. A little manipulation, anyone? Sarah's doing remarkably well, especially considering that she's not even two yet. But its a lot of laundry. Maybe a little more than with cloth diapers. The payoff should be big, though.

But the big milestones around here are these: Sarah is weaned, and I'm on fe.ma.ra this cycle. Yesterday was the big day. It seems like doctors are somewhat divided in their advice, but most do not recommend nursing while taking femara. I read up and found that for the typical c.anc.er dose, it takes 10 days for the drug to leave your system. The dose I'm taking for ovulation induction is 10 times that amount.

Once Sarah was night-weaned and my cycles came back in February, we decided to start trying without any medication to induce ovulation for a few months. I started back on T3, hCG injections, amoxicillin, and vitamins, and my progesterone finally got back up to normal levels in June.

Sarah's almost two, I just turned 37, and we'd love to have a couple more kids. When I had my first surgery, my tubes were blocked, but Dr. H was able to open them back up. After I conceived and then miscarried, we weren't able to conceive again, so I asked him if I could have another HSG to see if the tubes were blocked again. One was partially blocked and the other was completely blocked. Dr. H opened them again, and Sarah was conceived the next cycle. So we really don't want to waste too much time and risk things getting messed up again.

Even though I didn't have any diagnosed ovulation problems, I have only conceived while taking f.ema.ra. And the track record is darn good--I conceived on the first cycle the first time I took it, and on the second cycle the next time (the first cycle that time was the cycle in which I had the HSG).

But I really didn't want to wean Sarah. I looked around for resources on gentle weaning, and she's done really well. A few weeks ago, I explained to her that we would have to stop nursing because I have to take some medicine that would make the milk bad for her. First, I cut down to just nursing at bedtime and at naptime if she asked. (She was already sometimes skipping nursing for a whole day and just nursing at bedtime on many days.) Then I reduced the time she spent nursing at bedtime and tried to break the association of nursing during other bedtime activities (like stories and prayers). I let her drink a sippy cup of milk after nursing, too.

But last night was the last time. She didn't seem to fazed, but I couldn't help crying. She asked to nurse when I was dressing her this morning (the first time she's asked in the morning for a couple of weeks), but we talked about it, and she was calm. I'm dreading bedtime tonight, though.

I know she's almost two (her birthday's on Sunday). I know this is a long time (in our culture anyway) to nurse. I know that we have a strong relationship and that I'll continue to be close to her. I know that this is our best chance to give her and Nick another sibling. But with the early nursing struggles we had, the thrill of finally having a baby to nurse, and the fear that there won't be another one, I think I might be sadder than she is.

Summer Resolutions

OK, so it's not officially summer yet. And it's not even summer by the definition "school's over for the year." I do still have a couple of papers to grade, a manuscript to review for a journal, at least four more meetings, and a graduation and reception to attend. However, I do not have to walk into a classroom again until September.

And now I'm sitting on the couch because I can. It's probably not the best thing I could do, but I need a bit of a break. Yes, I watched the Glee season finale last night, but that was after I cleaned the kitchen and washed some toys our lovely neighbors pulled out of their shed and gave to our kids (how much does it rock that our neighbors give our kids all their old toys? I don't think I'll have to actually buy toys any time in the foreseeable future).

But I'm not going to sit on the couch all summer, oh no! I have big plans. BIG plans. And, yes, I am making fun of myself just a little bit because I'm sure my plans are probably too big. But for the record, here they are:

1. Potty training. The potty training book I ordered on Amaz.on (because I ordered it TWICE through interlibrary loan, and both times my order status says "in transit" for weeks and then goes away) will arrive tomorrow. Nick is very close to being potty trained already, and Sarah likes to do what he does, so we'll see how that goes. If she's not there yet, we'll go back to diapers and try again later.

2. Getting rid of half the stuff in our house. I am so not kidding. I feel like I am drowning in a sea of STUFF. I also ordered the Joy. o.f L.ess and should be getting it tomorrow. I don't see myself turning into a minimalist any time soon, but some kind of middle ground would be really good.

3. Writing some grant applications. I have to get myself some research funding for work. It will make life (and working with small children) a million times easier, and I am just plain scared to start. I'm going to line up babysitting for a couple of mornings a week to get on this, because it has to happen this summer.

4. Working out. Unfortunately, the exercise video Mr. X ordered me for Mother's Day (IT'S OK! I asked him for it specifically and even sent him the link to buy it) got lost in the mail. The guy gave us a refund, but I'm bummed out. It's made by the woman who taught my prenatal exercise class, and I own her prenatal workout video, which rocks. So, I wanted this one specifically, but they're sold out, and I found one on At.omic M.all, and that was the only copy I could locate. Argh. But I will exercise, video or no video!

5. Praying. Must ramp up prayer life. No excuses! It's so much better than it was last fall, but I see now how critical this is to everything else.

6. Getting the rest of my life in order. You know, the little stuff. Having friends over regularly, getting our finances in better order, buying a car (long story, which I will fill in soon), etc. Not really, though. These things have to get done, but the first five are critical.

And, yes, maybe two years is a better time frame, but I am fired up. This summer will be it!

Free!

I taught my last class of the school year today. I am celebrating with a glass of wine and the Glee season finale. That is all for now. :)